oh honesty... what did it ever get me?

So.... I was tagged by McMean so I guess in the spirit of honesty, I should do it... The idea is that once you are tagged you must tell 10 honest things about yourself (even if they are painfully honest!) and then tag 7 bloggers to do the same. I don't think I know 7 bloggers, but here's some shit about me...

1) I really DO think that money will buy me happiness. No matter how many times people tell me that it won't, no matter how many times they tell me that money can't buy me love, I don't believe them. I believe that enough money will let me buy good food, get a gym membership, live in a place that I don't hate (thus reducing stress), and allow me to pull my life together. This will allow me to be skinny and then people will love me... SEE... $=Love

2) Sometimes I wish I was a religious zealot. I am jealous that they have something to believe in and believe in it so strongly that they spend their whole lives living the way religion tells them to.

3) I always think of the worst possible scenario... and by worse, I mean... I have to tell my friend I can't go out with them tonight. What happens is I call and tell them, they are like, cool, we'll meet up soon. What I think is, I call, they say cool, then hang up. They don't have anyone else to go out with so they go out alone. At the bar they meet a guy who gets them drunk, takes them home and rapes them. Drunk and scared they drive home alone and get pulled over by a cop that doesn't believe them. They only get a ticket but as they are almost home they run into a tree and DIE... yeah, like THAT kinda worst possible scenario.

4) I wish I was closer to my family a LOT. Sure I'm brave and move wherever I want just because I want to, but I sacrifice the relationship with my parents. I miss them every day and wish I could be closer to them dearly.

5) I honest to god think that my parents are ashamed of me. Maybe this comes from ME being ashamed of ME but what have I accomplished since college.... nothing. Not a damn thing to brag or be proud of. More than anything I want my family to be happy for me and proud of me... this is pretty much impossible if I'm not happy or proud of myself.

6) I truly believe that animals can make you happy. I'm not a hippy or stupid, but I fully believe that in the presence of animals you can live a happier, fuller life.

7) I pretend to know more about sports than I really do to pick up guys at the bar. I know more about sports than your average girl, don't get me wrong, but I have been known to take the latest headline and say it in such a manor that makes me sound all knowing and milk it for all it's worth just to start conversation. I'm terrified they'll find me out.

8) I know I drink more than I should but it gets me out of the house and it's cheaper than shopping. I hate my roommates and on top of that, when I'm home, I'm depressed because I sit and think of how shitty my life is. I would rather go out, have a few beers, meet some new people and spend $20. In that time I could go to walmart by myself and spend $80... really it's just a matter of economics.

9) If I knew I wouldn't get caught, I would hit my GM with a car, baseball bat, or other potentially deadly weapon... I don't think, after the way she has treated me, I would feel any remorse at all. That is a scary feeling.

10) I don't think I'm worthy of being loved. I'm worthy of being fucked, screwed around with, forgotten about, pushed over, and tossed out... but not loved. What have I ever done to really deserve it?


Tagging people...
1-Giggles
2-Mama Kat... I'm sure she doesn't read my blog, but just in case...
3- Lisa from MU... yeah do it!
4-YOU!!


Ok, that wasn't really 7 people, but I don't have that many friends, so sue me... Have a great Week and if I don't talk to you before then, I'll be back next Monday with Not Me's!

Slice like a ninja, Cut like a razor blade...

My Vanilla Ice video... yes, that's right, I said VANILLA ICE ICE BABY!

In case you want to sing along, here are the lyrics

VANILLA ICE

HELLO!... LO...Lo...Lo...lo...lo........

Yes!! I am here!! I know it's been a while since I blogged but with the holidays and new years... give a girl a break! Let's break it down and get dirty!

Work update:
My direct boss quit, like 3 months ago. However, they threw some money (i assume) at him and he agreed to stay through the holidays until an indefinite time. Yesterday he came in and said that it was his last day... well, in his defense, the holidays ARE over... They named Sir Cranky as the new Production manager leaving Giggles to fend for herself in the Rental department... wow. I'm sure firing me is next in line. I hope to make it to my one year mark there which will occur in just less than 3 week's time. For those of you who know me, I'm a bit of a job jumper. I've had more jobs than I can remember but you know, I'm always trying to do better!! (Look where that's put me now...)

Friends:
Well, I still have some so that's a start. McMean and I have been been keeping up on things as uaual and I got to talk to one of my dear dear ship friends, Wendy last night for over an hour... that made my day. I went over to Steph's last night to hang out since my SHITTY ROOMMATES had ANOTHER kegger. Thanks for letting me know at 10am boys... way to plan ahead. What ass holes. I've been here 6 months, 3 more to go. If I could break my lease you can bet your sweet ass I would be outta here so fast it would make their druggy brains spin... what's left of them. I walked in this morning at 10:30ish and there was apparently a drunk people obstacle course set up. Couch pillows, shoes, clothing, cups, bags, plates, a table(?!?!) stewn around the room such that it would be fun to watch drunk people try to get to a seat. Not so fun when I come in the front door sober. Oh and a note to the 4 people passed out in the living room... I am SO not sorry I woke your drunk asses up as I came in... Who's house?? Kitty's house!

wow... that section wasn't really all about friends was it...? Oh well!

New Year's:
So I know that this is the one you guys want to hear about... Well went down to Susan and Keith's to pregame. It was a lot of fun and Jasmine was there so it was nice to see her again too. Another one of Susan's friends came with her boyfriend who, swear to god, looks just like Montel Williams. After drinking pretty much everything in their house we jumped on the light rail and headed down town. Ben and I went to meet up with Sarah and her brother at Scruffy Murphy's and rang in the new year there. Might I say, I am fully convinced now that Dick Clark will never die... why you may ask. Not becuase he hasn't died yet, and not becuase it looks like he hasn't aged since the stone age, NO... did anyone else notice that Dick Clark TOTALLY looked like a vampire on TV this year??? Fangs and all! I even tried to photograph the tv and it didn't come out!! Total Vampire move there Dick Clark...
After that we went over to regroup with Susan et all. After waiting in the potty line for about 20 minutes (which included watching Susan almost get into a fight with some hos who were also in line) we continued to drink our fair share of alchohol. Last call comes and we decide to hit up Lure for a last minute drink since Ben knows all the bartenders there. This is where the night gets a liiiiiitttttle fuzzy. That last drink knocked us both on our asses. I remember peeing in the small tree grove on SPEER(!!!) and that's the last thing I remember. At some point we got a cab got home and went to bed. Odd thing though... obviously I took my dress off... but in the morning it was still zippered, the bow around it was still tied, and it was right side out... how did I get it off?? No clue. Ahhh, the mysteries of the world.

Rose Bowl:
Don't even get me fucking started.

I hope everyone had a great new year's, I know I did. I didn't fall, puke, or die. All in all... that's a good score by me.

Until next time everyone... here's a video of a deaf retarded cat...




Yes, she really is deaf and really is retarded... she belongs to my parents and her name is Tink. My dad named her, don't you judge me!

Totally not me Monday

I am not at work right now on my computer blogging. I didn't work all day and don't mind at all that I still have pages and pages of phone calls to make for absolutely no reason.
I did not have some of the best Chinese food I've ever had for lunch today. It was not hot, crispy or delicious. It was not just $5.
I did not drink excessively last night because I was depressed and hating my life and feeling sorry for myself. I did not drink at the bar on the airplane. I did not drink on the airplane. I did not drink at the bar on the way home.
I did not have a giant cat sleep on me last night. I did not hold the smooshy cat until he growled at me. I did not sleep on the couch last night at Ben's so that I didn't have to drive home that late... and drunk.
I do not hate my job, my life, or any thing about my existence right now. I am not broke and certainly not in any type of debt.
I am not glad that I got to see many friends this week that I hadn't seen in a long time. I didn't drive to MU to see the old alma mater with Paul. I didn't see Michelle or Laura, and we certainly didn't talk shit about all the people we used to go to school with. I didn't spend more time with Amy than my family over my visit.
My mom didn't cook the most amazing dinner on Christmas Eve. I could not have eaten that meal every single day for the rest of my life.

If you don't know what to get me...

Here are some of my favorite places for gifts!
*warning: some of these may be offensive and/or not suitable for opening at work!*

Bonsai Sheepskin Sandals ~I am hoping for a pair for Christmas!

T-Shirt Hell~ Not really appropriate for anyone, yet, appropriate for everyone!

ELF~ Great makeup, Great prices

Demotivators~ You have to see it to love it.

Red Envelope~ For those classy yet picky people on your list, something beautiful for all.

Crabtree and Evelyn~ The absolute best body and skin care on the planet!

Any questions?? GOOD! Now get shopping you maggots!

Not in a million Mondays...

I think this is a cute idea from http://www.mycharmingkids.net/. Not Me! Monday. Check her out and tell me what your "not me" is this week!

I am not and never have been addicted to Survivor... and I most certainly did not tear up when they got to see their families. I was not shocked that Bob won the immunity challenge.

I am not the person who drank more calories in beer this weekend than ate in food.

I did not go see Smashing Pumpkins at the Ogden on Friday. I did not have a good spot to stand and I definitely didn't think it was loud enough.

I didn't have to work by myself this morning AGAIN at work while people came in late or didn't come at all. I didn't complain one bit.

I didn't lay around and watch 4 movies in a row Saturday night. None of them were Harry Potter and I didn't take my pants off right in the living room in order to be more comfortable.

I didn't save $40 using my club card at the grocery store today. I wasn't upset that at the sign of one snowflake everyone flocked to the store like they weren't going to see light for a year. It didn't bother me that I had planned to go to the store all day despite the impending snow.

I didn't take this idea from Amy and I most certainly don't copy everything she does.



Well... that was fun. If you can decipher that, I had a good weekend filled with nothing on top of drinking... with more nothing mixed in... and I saw Smashing Pumpkins... I'm awesome :-D

Memories... all alone in the moonlight...

Ok, so I got tagged to do this little photo thing from Amy over at insidethemcmind.blogspot.com. The rules:

Post and write about the 6th picture from (the 6th folder of?) your Flickr account and then do the same for the 6th picture of the 6th folder on your computer.

I do not have a Flickr account... I know, I'm super lame. But like Amy, I'll do my 6th picture of my 6th folder and the 6th picture from my myspace page.... Here goes...


This picture is actually of Coffee beans growing in Hawaii. While I was working in Hawaii I went on a tour where we stopped at a coffee farm, Cocoa farm, and vanilla farm. It was pretty cool and the chocolate made at the cocoa farm was hands down the best chocolate I've ever had!!

Ok... myspace picture...


AWWWWWWWW!!!!! This is from back in my Hershey days at a black and white party. That's me and my lovely 3 gay dates... Robert, Jacob, and the love of my life, Andrew :) Miss you babe!

ahhh... that was fun...

I'll tag... Courtney... have fun!